⊙ 遊俠手記

Yesterday our play had started a dance rehas and everyone needs to attent. It starts at 3:15 and end at 6:00 so I need to call my aunt for pick up. The rehas. was fun AND tired, and plus I missed a rehas. last week, so I didn't know what I am suppose to do on the stage @@. It seems like everyone had read though their stripte and know what they are going to do except me......>"< I better work harder on it.

But do I really have to work hard on drama? I had stay after-school for drama rehas. so many time and ask for my aunt to pick me up, so she start feeling annoying and ask me that am I really need to go to rehas that often. I said yes and it is my responsibility to go to every rehas. as a actor of a play, but that she ask me is drama really important to my future? or is just only one of my interests? I didn't say anything. Than she start saying things like "you should focus on your school work and study harder" or "other people choose to study at home instead of coming after-school, so why do you have to push yourself back with all this after-school activities?". I know in my heart I likes to do drama because I like it, but is it really because drama may not going to give me benefit to my future, so I have to stop doing drama? Is it this is what growing up is about, abounding your interest little by little and do what other people want you to do?

I start looking for friends who really know how to draw and ask them to teach me. I think this way my drawing skill will improve step by step. But again drawing doesn't seems like it will do much about my future, so I really don't know should I spent my time into it @@.

I REALLY should think about finish up Apart Ch4 this weekend...I really should orz
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Well I got yelled by my aunt, I remember she told me not to say a thing and just listen to her, so I did. And now she tells me I am not appreciate and respect them and I am being rude because I didn’t respond when she “talks” to me (or she means yelled at me). I don’t understand. No matter I say what I have in my mind or not saying anything at all, she is not happy about it. Do I really have to lie what I truly believe? I though have a conversation with a relative isn’t about lying or humoring. Perhaps from now on I really have to only say what she wants to hear, not what I want to say @@.

P.S. I didn’t get alone with aunt, and as I am typing this blog, my aunt is cooking in the kitchen and complaining why no one is helping her.